What does the Bible say about grief?

1551 · John Calvin, Commentary on Isaiah, part 2 (chapters 17-32) 30.19

The meaning is, that this mourning shall not be perpetual. The Church, that is, all believers, while they were in this wretched and distressed condition, must have been exceedingly sorrowful; but he says that those tears shall come to an end. To the same purport is it said by the Psalmist, “They who sow in tears shall reap in joy.” (Psalm 126:5.) The Lord permits us indeed to be afflicted with great anguish; but at length he cheers us, and gives us reason for gladness, when he restores his Church; for that is the true joy of believers.

1551 · John Calvin, Commentary on Isaiah, part 3 (chapters 33-48) 40.1

Although, therefore, the Jews by their sins had fallen from grace, yet he affirms that he is their God, and that they are his peculiar people, both of which depended on election; but, as even in that nation there were many reprobates, the statement implies that to believers only is this discourse strictly directed; because he silently permits unbelievers, through constant languishment, to be utterly wasted and destroyed. But to believers there is held out an invaluable comfort, that, although for a time they are oppressed by grief and mourning, yet because they hope in God, who is the Father of consolation, they shall know by experience that the promises of grace, like a hidden treasure, are laid up for them, to cheer their hearts at the proper time. This is also a very high commendation of the prophetic office, that it supports believers in adversity, that they may not faint or be discouraged; and, on the other hand, this passage shews that it is a very terrible display of God’s vengeance when there are no faithful teachers, from whose mouth may be heard in the Church of God the consolation that is fitted to raise up those who are cast down, and to strengthen the feeble.

1710–1714 · Matthew Henry, Commentary on John 16.16-22

Gladness is sown for the upright in heart, that sow tears, and without doubt they will shortly reap in joy. Their sorrow will not only be followed with joy, but turned into it; for the most precious comforts take rise from pious griefs. Thus he illustrates by a similitude taken from a woman in travail, to whose sorrows he compares those of his disciples, for their encouragement; for it is the will of Christ that his people should be a comforted people. First, Here is the similitude or parable itself (v. 21): A woman, we know, when she is in travail, hath sorrow, she is in exquisite pain, because her hour is come, the hour which nature and providence have fixed, which she has expected, and cannot escape; but as soon as she is delivered of the child, provided she be safely delivered, and the child be, though a Jabez (1 Chron. iv. 9), yet not a Benoni (Gen. xxxv. 18), then she remembers no more the anguish, her groans and complaints are over, and the after-pains are more easily borne, for joy that a man is born into the world, anthropos, one of the human race, a child, be it son or daughter, for the word signifies either.

1710 · Matthew Henry, Commentary on Psalms 56.8-13

Paul was mindful of Timothy's tears (2 Tim. i. 4), and God will not forget the sorrows of his people. The tears of God's persecuted people are bottled up and sealed among God's treasures; and, when these books come to be opened, they will be found vials of wrath, which will be poured out upon their persecutors, whom God will surely reckon with for all the tears they have forced from his people's eyes; and they will be breasts of consolation to God's mourners, whose sackcloth will be turned into garments of praise. God will comfort his people according to the time wherein he has afflicted them, and give to those to reap in joy who sowed in tears. What was sown a tear will come up a pearl.

1712 · Matthew Henry, Commentary on Isaiah 61.1-3

He was to be a comforter, and so he is as preacher, healer, and deliverer; he is sent to comfort all who mourn, and who, mourning, seek to him, and not to the world, for comfort. Christ not only provides comfort for them, and proclaims it, but he applies it to them; he does by his Spirit comfort them. There is enough in him to comfort all who mourn, whatever their sore or sorrow is; but this comfort is sure to those who mourn in Zion, who sorrow after a godly sort, according to God, for his residence is in Zion,—who mourn because of Zion's calamities and desolations, and mingle their tears by a holy sympathy with those of all God's suffering people, though they themselves are not in trouble; such tears God has a bottle for (Ps. lvi. 8), such mourners he has comfort in store for. As blessings out of Zion are spiritual blessings, so mourners in Zion are holy mourners, such as carry their sorrows to the throne of grace (for in Zion was the mercy-seat) and pour them out as Hannah did before the Lord. To such as these Christ has appointed by his gospel, and will give by his Spirit (v. 3), those consolations which will not only support them under their sorrows, but turn them into songs of praise.

1712 · Matthew Henry, Commentary on Lamentations 3.21-36

We may bear ourselves up with this, 1. That, when we are cast down, yet we are not cast off; the father's correcting his son is not a disinheriting of him. 2. That though we may seem to be cast off for a time, while sensible comforts are suspended and desired salvations deferred, yet we are not really cast off, because not cast off for ever; the controversy with us shall not be perpetual. 3. That, whatever sorrow we are in, it is what God has allotted us, and his hand is in it. It is he that causes grief, and therefore we may be assured it is ordered wisely and graciously; and it is but for a season, and when need is, that we are in heaviness, 1 Pet. i. 6. 4. That God has compassions and comforts in store even for those whom he has himself grieved.

1712 · Matthew Henry, Commentary on Lamentations 3.21-36

We must be far from thinking that, though God cause grief, the world will relieve and help us. No; the very same that caused the grief must bring in the favour, or we are undone. Una eademque manus vulnus opemque tulit—The same hand inflicted the wound and healed it.

1834 · Albert Barnes, Notes on the Bible: Psalms 56.8

Are they not in thy book? - In thy book of remembrance; are they not numbered and recorded so that they will not be forgotten? This expresses strong confidence that his tears "would" be remembered; that they would not be forgotten. All the tears that we shed "are" remembered by God. If "properly" shed - shed in sorrow, without murmuring or complaining, they will be remembered for our good; if "improperly shed" - if with the spirit of complaining, and with a want of submission to the divine will, they will be remembered against us. But it is not wrong to weep. David wept; the Saviour wept; nature prompts us to weep; and it cannot be wrong to weep if "our" eye "poureth out" its tears "unto God" Job 16:20; that is, if in our sorrow we look to God with submission and with earnest supplication.

1834 · Albert Barnes, Notes on the Bible: Isaiah 61.2

To comfort all that mourn - The expression, 'all that mourn,' may refer either to those who mourn over the loss of earthly friends and possessions, or to those who mourn over sin. In either case the gospel has afforded abundant sources of consolation (see the notes at Isa 25:8).

1863 · Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Spurgeon's Sermons, Volume 9 (1863) 523

Let the hope of Jeremiah be your consolation—"But though He cause grief, yet will He have compassion according to the multitude of His mercies. For He does not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men." You that are brought very low, you feel that you are wounded tonight. Do you not know how many promises there are to the wounded ones?

1871 · Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Spurgeon's Sermons, Volume 17 (1871) 1016

I would draw particular attention to the words here, “To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes.” Come, mourning souls, who mourn in the way described, come ye gladly hither: there is comfort appointed for you, and there is also comfort given to you. It is the prerogative of King Jesus both to appoint and to give. How cheering is the thought that as our griefs are appointed, so also are our consolations. God has allotted a portion to every one of his mourners, even as Joseph allotted a mess to each of his brethren at the feast. You shall have your due share at the table of grace, and if you are a little one, and have double sorrows, you shall have a double portion of comfort.

1871 · Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Spurgeon's Sermons, Volume 17 (1871) 1016

The ashes that men put upon their head in the East in the time of sorrow made a grim tiara for the brow of the mourner; the Lord promises to put all these ashes away, and to substitute for them a glorious head dress—a diadem of beauty. Or, if we run away from the word, and take the inner sense, we may look at it thus:—mourning makes the face wan and emaciated, and so takes away the beauty; but Jesus promises that he will so come and reveal joy to the sorrowing soul, that the face shall fill up again: the eyes that were dull and cloudy shall sparkle again, and the countenance, yea, and the whole person shall be once more radiant with the beauty which sorrow had so grievously marred. I thank God I have sometimes seen this change take place in precious saints who have been cast down in soul. There has even seemed to be a visible beauty put upon them when they have found peace in Jesus Christ, and this beauty is far more lovely and striking, because it is evidently a beauty of the mind, a spiritual lustre, far superior to the surface comeliness of the flesh. When the Lord shines full upon his servants’ faces, he makes them fair as the moon, when at her full she reflects the light of the sun. A gracious and unchanging God sheds on his people a gracious and unfading loveliness. O mourning soul, thou hast made thine eyes red with weeping, and thy cheeks are marred with furrows, down which the scalding tears have burned their way; but the Lord that healeth thee, the Lord Almighty who wipeth all tears from human eyes, shall visit thee yet; and, if thou now believest in Jesus, he shall visit thee now, and chase these cloudy griefs away, and thy face shall be bright and clear again, fair as the morning, and sparkling as the dew. Thou shalt rejoice in the God of thy salvation, even in God, thy exceeding joy. Is not this a dainty promise for mourning souls?

1878 · Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Spurgeon's Sermons, Volume 24 (1878) 1442

Let us mourn, by all means, for Jesus died. But by no means let us make mourning the prominent thought in connection with His death if we have obtained, thereby, the pardon of our sins! The language of our text allowed and yet forbade sorrow! It gave permission to weep, but only for a little while, and then it forbade all further weeping by the promise to turn the sorrow into joy. "You shall weep and lament," that is, His disciples, while He was dying and dead and buried, would be sorely distressed. "And you shall be sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned into joy"—their grief would end when they saw Him risen from the dead! And so it did, for we read, "Then were the disciples glad when they saw the Lord."

1892 · Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Spurgeon's Sermons, Volume 38 (1892) 2260

When a soul cannot stir, or help itself, God delights to come in with His Omnipotence and lift the great load—and set the burdened one free! It takes great wisdom to comfort a broken heart. If any of you have ever tried it, I am sure you have not found it an easy task. I have given much of my life to this work and I always come away from a desponding one with a consciousness of my own inability to comfort the heartbroken and cast-down. Only God can do it. Blessed be His name that He has arranged that one Person of the Sacred Trinity should undertake this office of Comforter, for no man could ever perform its duties. We might as well hope to be the Savior as to be the Comforter of the heartbroken! Efficiently and completely to save or to comfort must be a Divine work. That is why the Divine Holy Spirit heals the broken in heart and binds up their wounds with infinite power and unfailing skill.

1913 · Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Spurgeon's Sermons, Volume 59 (1913) 3336

But now I want you to notice a something which does not appear in our English version, but is clear in the Hebrew. It is that the Lord very easily makes a change in His people's condition, for the word in the Hebrew for ashes is epheer, and the word for beauty is peer The change is very slight in the original. Some idea of the similarity of the words may be given you in English if I quote from Master Trapp. "The Lord promises to turn all their sighing into singing, all their musing into music, all their sadness into gladness and all their tears into triumph." Perhaps I may myself give you a closer imitation, still, and more after the Hebrew model, by saying He turns our mourning into morning. In the case before us we might say, "He gives us splendors for cinders," beauty for ashes. Now, as readily as we change a word by a single letter, so easily does the God of All Comfort alter the state of His own people! With Him nothing is hard, much less impossible. From the Cross to the crown, from the thorn to the throne, from misery to majesty, is but a hand's turn with the Lord!

1913 · Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Spurgeon's Sermons, Volume 59 (1913) 3341

We know that there are abundant consolations and rich and free comforts, but we do not feel their power, nor dare to take them to ourselves." Now, in this place we see the condescending Lord, Himself, applying the oil of joy in exchange for mourning! His own right hand pours the precious oil upon the bowed head—He, Himself, causes the face to shine and banishes woe! A man may lie bleeding on the battlefield and there may be liniments close at hand, but in his weakness and agony he may be quite unable to bind up his own wounds, or reach the cordials—he may die because he is not able to stretch so much as a finger to help himself to remedies which lie by his side! It is an unspeakable mercy that our Lord gives His Grace to us in such an effectual manner that His mourners actually obtain the help they need! He is a very present help, a real Comforter—the oil of joy is not shown us in an unbroken alabaster vase, nor merely offered to us in a vial, but it is actually and effectually applied to the soul!

1914 · Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Spurgeon's Sermons, Volume 60 (1914) 3431

How condescending and how kind are the objectives of our Savior's mission—to put an end to sorrow! He searches for the mourners—they are the special objects of His care—and all that He does has this for one of its grand objectives—to comfort all that mourn! Surely if there is any troubled heart here, it may claim an interest in such a Divine work as this! Jesus has come to comfort all that mourn. Shall He not comfort you?

c. 400 · Pseudo-Sulpicius Severus, Doubtful Letters ascribed to Sulpicius Severus (Epistulae spuriae) 2.6

And just as you would wish aid to be given you if you were in such tribulation, so should you help another in accordance with the statement, “Whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, do ye even so to them.” For to weep with one that weeps, and at the same time to refuse to help, when you can, him that weeps, is a proof of mockery, and not of piety. In short, our Saviour wept with Mary and Martha, the sisters of Lazarus, and proved the feeling of infinite compassion within him by the witness of his tears. But works, as the proofs of true affection soon followed, when Lazarus, for whose sake the tears were shed, was raised up and restored to his sisters. This was sincerely to weep with those who wept, when the occasion of the weeping was removed.

1710 · Matthew Henry, Commentary on Ecclesiastes 7.1-6

That it will do us more good to go to a funeral than to go to a festival (v. 2): It is better to go to the house of mourning, and there weep with those that weep, than to go to the house of feasting, to a wedding, or a wake, there to rejoice with those that do rejoice. It will do us more good, and make better impressions upon us. We may lawfully go to both, as there is occasion. Our Saviour both feasted at the wedding of his friend in Cana and wept at the grave of his friend in Bethany; and we may possibly glorify God, and do good, and get good, in the house of feasting; but, considering how apt we are to be vain and frothy, proud and secure, and indulgent of the flesh, it is better for us to go to the house of mourning, not to see the pomp of the funeral, but to share in the sorrow of it, and to learn good lessons, both from the dead, who is going thence to his long home, and from the mourners, who go about the streets.

1712 · Matthew Henry, Commentary on Lamentations 2.10-22

The prophet himself is a pattern to the mourners, v. 11. His eyes do fail with tears; he has wept till he can weep no more, has almost wept his eyes out, wept himself blind. Nor are the inward impressions of grief short of the outward expressions. His bowels are troubled, as they were when he saw these calamities coming (Jer. iv. 19, 20), which, one would think, might have excused him now; but even he, to whom they were no surprise, felt them an insupportable grief, to such a degree that his liver is poured out on the earth; he felt himself a perfect colliquation; all his entrails were melted and dissolved, as Ps. xxii. 14. Jeremiah himself had better treatment than his neighbours, better than he had had before from his own countrymen, nay, their destruction was his deliverance, their captivity his enlargement; the same that made them prisoners made him a favourite; and yet his private interests are swallowed up in a concern for the public, and he bewails the destruction of the daughter of his people as sensibly as if he himself had been the greatest sufferer in that common calamity.

1765 · John Wesley, Explanatory Notes on Ezra 3.13

In heaven all are singing and none sighing; in hell all are wailing, and none rejoicing: but here on earth we can scarce discern the shouts of joy from the noise of the weeping, let us learn to rejoice with them that rejoice, and weep with them that weep. Meantime let us ourselves rejoice as though we rejoiced not, and weep as though we wept not.

1871 · David Brown, Commentary Critical and Explanatory on Romans 12.15

with them that weep—What a beautiful spirit of sympathy with the joys and sorrows of others is here inculcated! But it is only one charming phase of the unselfish character which belongs to all living Christianity. What a world will ours be when this shall become its reigning spirit! Of the two, however, it is more easy to sympathize with another's sorrows than his joys, because in the one case he needs us; in the other not.

1908 · Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Spurgeon's Sermons, Volume 54 (1908) 3108

But, Beloved, good as "the house of mourning" is, excellent as its shades may be, mark well that Solomon does not say that, "the house of mourning" is morally better than "the house of feasting," or that there is more virtue in weeping than in rejoicing! Yet he does say that "it is better to go to the house of mourning"—it is better to sit by the side of the widow, it is better to take the fatherless child on your knee, it is better to sit down and weep with those that weep than it is to go to the pavilion of happiness and rejoice with those that rejoice.

1938 · William R. Newell, Romans Verse-by-Verse 12

Believers, of course, are especially meant in both cases. There will always be some that are weeping. Blessed is he who, like the Lord at Lazarus’ grave, can enter into others’ sorrow even unto tears! “Alas, there is such a phenomenon, not altogether rare, as a life whose self-surrender, in some main aspects, cannot be doubted, but which utterly fails in sympathy. A certain spiritual exaltation is allowed actually to harden, or at least to seem to harden, the consecrated heart; and the man who perhaps witnesses for God with a prophet’s ardor is yet not one to whom the mourner would go for tears and prayers in his bereavement, or the child for a perfectly human smile in his play. As to the Lord Himself, the little child, the wistful parent, the widow with her mite, the poor fallen woman of the street, could lead away his blessed sympathies with a touch”—Moule.